


gratuitous violence: unnecessary, satisfying, heartbreaking, and so like everything else you love.

by fauchevalent



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Pining, be nice please i'm used to writing in percy's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:37:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauchevalent/pseuds/fauchevalent
Summary: Whoever is doing this to Vex's soulmate, they certainly are persistent, she thinks one morning, as the telltale sting of a cut opening across her back grits a hiss between her teeth.(The cut isn't there. She knows this, but it hurts like hell all the same. Only a minute later, she feels her hipbone ache with the dull pain of a burn, too many layers deep to be accidental, and she shivers.)





	gratuitous violence: unnecessary, satisfying, heartbreaking, and so like everything else you love.

**Author's Note:**

> MMM I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THIS POST (http://soleminisanction.tumblr.com/post/156690031917/angst-idea-in-a-soulmate-au-where-you-share-your) AND NOW YOU CAN TOO! here's a fic about it.

Both the twins are familiar with the ache of a bruise that is not their own as it clouds an angry purple on someone else's skin. Vax has even been privy to quite a few patches of scrapes on his knees, which he deemed to be from the roots of a tree, and Vex has felt the callouses on her hands mingle with someone else's.  
That doesn't make the pain easy when it comes.  
Shortly after they turn twenty one, and her brother takes her out for a night of real bar hopping, she spends a week in bed - hands clutching at her stomach and groaning in pain. At first, both of them assume it's the drinks - Vax teases her about being a lightweight and lets up on her chores for the week, and they try to forget about it. But the pain doesn't go away. Days after she manages to get back into the swing of things, she's knocked backwards by a burning sensation on her chest, and her lungs cloud with worry. Not even a full day later, Vex finds herself screaming as phantom braces tighten on her limbs, digging in to her wrists, ankles, and - most terrifyingly, her neck.   
It's this that really swings her over the edge. She's terrified of it as she cries out at the feeling of a new bruise across her soulmate's stomach, trying to settle into something like sleep - her soulmate, wherever they are, is truly and terribly in danger.

It doesn't cease.

Whoever is doing this to Vex's soulmate, they certainly are persistent, she thinks one morning, as the telltale sting of a cut opening across her back grits a hiss between her teeth.  
(The cut isn't there. She knows this, but it hurts like hell all the same. Only a minute later, she feels her hipbone ache with the dull pain of a burn, too many layers deep to be accidental, and she shivers.)

Vex spends the next three weeks in bed, pressing her hands to wounds that aren't there. Then, suddenly, she slips into sleep for a week. When she awakes, Vax at her side, the pain is gone. There's no question she says, steadfastly blinking back tears, her soulmate is dead.  
(Her brother never tells her about his trip to the apothecary, about slipping the leaves into her tea and crying all week until she woke up. He never speaks a word about saving her the pain - it's a brother's job.)

She doesn't tell him that she keeps hope, for a month afterwards. She doesn't describe how every time she goes to bed, she sits up for hours, hands wrapped around her hipbone and waiting, just  _waiting_ for a spark of pain.  
There is none.  
Vex is numb.

* * *

 

Vax finds his soulmate among the SHITS, and Vex hates that she doesn't even have to pretend to be happy for them. She's legitimately thrilled at the news, squeezing her brother tightly around the middle when he tells her the story of Keyleth, tumbling out of a tree.

"I'm sorry you - I'm sorry." Vax whispers into her hair, and Vex just nods silently, unwilling to think on it. Her soulmate is dead, and she has no reason to spare a thought of pity for herself, only a prayer every now and again for her lost soulmate, when Pike ropes her into one.

"I'm happy for you," she says, instead. "Can't that be what we talk about, for once? Happiness?"  
Vax squeezes a little bit tighter.

* * *

She's lying on the ground, clutching at her arm, which has been beaten to shit by a couple of thugs they were up against, when she notices.  
Pike's obscuring Vex's view just a bit, perched beside her and murmuring healing words over her wounds, but Vex's eyes are on Percy.

She's only known him for a short while - it's been maybe four months since they unlocked his cell door - but she finds him hilariously easy to read, and in the setting sunlight, she sees him wince and grab his arm, turning his reaction away from Keyleth as she passes by.  
Vex feels a little bad, actually - she hadn't noticed Percy get hurt in the fray, and as Pike finishes healing her, she wanders his way. "Need a little help there, darling?" She asks, reaching for his arm, and he jerks back.   
"No, thanks."   
Vex frowns and manages to lay a hand at his elbow before he gets away again. "Percy, there's no need to heal on your own." She insists. "I have a little bit - not nearly as much as Pike, mind you, but I can help you. It'll be good for the pain, at least." Something clouds across his eyes for a moment, but when she looks back, it's gone.  
Percy lays a gentle hand atop hers and says, "I'm alright, Vex'ahlia. Really. The pain's almost gone, actually." His gaze flits to Pike for half a second and Vex considers challenging him on it, but he bumps into her good shoulder and assures her again, jogging toward her brother before she even realizes he's leaving.

Percival de Rolo, she decides, is a very interesting man.

* * *

 

Three days after they fight Thordak, Vex is still nursing a deep thrash across her ribs, red and throbbing with every step she takes. Most of her other wounds are healed, and she feels no need to involve any healing magics and burn out their cleric (or herself), so she takes it day by day, hobbling awkwardly into the kitchen of Scanlan's mansion.

Percy and Keyleth are sitting at the table, chatting lowly over a pair of tea mugs, and when she enters, Keyleth gives Percy a significant look and sweeps out of the room, giving Vex's shoulder a squeeze as she passes.  
"What was that about?" Vex asks, leaning back against the countertop.   
"She just wants me to lay low," he replies, though it feels evasive, doing some hobbling of his own to make it up to the cabinets and retrieve a mug. "Tea?" He asks, already making her a cup. Vex smiles.  
"She's right, probably, darling." She says, gratefully accepting the cup of steeping tea from his hands. "You seem like you're still hurting."

Percy flashes her a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine, really. You, on the other hand..."  
She hums and shakes her head. "Percy, you can hide this from everybody - except Keyleth, apparently - but please don't hide it from me." Percy leans against the counter beside her and angles his gaze toward her.   
"I've no idea what you mean."  
" _Percival_ ," she groans, exasperated, and he raises a hand placatingly.  
"I'm fine, dear, honestly." He stands at his full height, stretching and looking her right in the eye, and actually smiles. "See? Fine."  
(Percy doesn't tell her that he feels like he's going to shatter at the movement, ribs burning with his refusal to admit. He doesn't tell her, even when she smirks at him as he helps her settle into a chair, crouching at her feet to examine the actual wound across _her_ ribs, and he certainly doesn't tell her when she tries to jump back to the topic of his wound - only saying, "I'm truthfully alright, Vex," and leaving it at that.)  
"But you'd tell me, if something was wrong?" Vex asks, and Percy almost cries.   
"Of course."

* * *

 

Vex certainly has her suspicions by the time Vox Machina is in Whitestone. 

She would have to be  _blind_ not to notice the protective instinct Percy had whenever she was involved, and though she admits it's touching, in a way, it also throws her for quite the loop.

It's the same instinct Keyleth has for her brother - she imagines that's why it's so strange - her first _real_ example of soulmates doing the same routine as her and Percy, the same back and forth and gentle reassuring touches to bring someone back down to Earth.  
It isn't that she's necessarily uncomfortable with the idea - Gods, if she was lucky enough to be Percy's soulmate, if they both had finally earned their happy endings - but rather that she's certain her soulmate is  _dead_. Every moment with Percy makes her wish otherwise, but whoever was promised her heart by fate has been taken from her. Of this, she is sure.

By the time Percy dies at the hand of Anna Ripley, Vex is done giving a fuck what fate has to say about who she loves. She couldn't care less if she was entrusted to Percy or not - Vex  _loved_ him. Wasn't that enough? Shouldn't it be?  
She presses her lips to his cheek and tells him  _it's yours_ in the still dark, hates that she's crying because she couldn't feel the gunshot.  _It's his,_ she thinks to the sky, to whatever shit god is listening,  _it's his and you don't get a say in the matter._

When he wakes up, Vex pretends it doesn't hurt that he doesn't remember.

* * *

 

Percy is in his workshop, Vex plastered to a table beside him, for weeks after. She looks at him fondly and he lingers where she is for too long, and they both pretend they aren't aching like fools.

He's told her not to touch anything, but Vex is curious and his table is full of interesting bits and pieces, so she hunts around for something to fiddle with. She ends up burning her finger, and before the  _ouch_ even escapes her lips, she hears Percy say, "I did tell you not to touch anything. Give it here, dear." Vex huffs and passes him the torch she touched, and he frowns. "No, your finger, darling."

It's  _her_ term of endearment, but it sounds so perfect coming from him she grins from ear to ear.  
Percy is sweet, icing her finger and wrapping it in a bandage, and Vex doesn't even realize until he's ushered her into her room, telling her she could use some rest and closing her door.

"I didn't say ouch," she says to the door, and then, to Trinket, who grumbles up at her from the rug. "I didn't say ouch!"

* * *

 

It is far from the first time Percy has taken to noticing her injuries, Vex knows, and it will certainly not be the last, but so close after telling fate to  _shove it_ , she feels a thrum of excitement in her bones. She walks right into her brother's room.

"Slap me."  
"What the fuck, Stubby."  
"Va _aaa_ x! I won't hit you back, I swear. Just one good slap, right in the face."  
"I can't believe I'm doing this for you," he says, and then he hits her - with significantly less force than he could've - on the cheek. Vex grins.  
"Thanks!"

She doesn't tell him why, just strides toward Percy's room to the tune of her brother yelling, "What the  _fuck_?"   
Vex feels a little thrill go through her, wonders if the fates have finally decided to let her have this one thing, and knocks on Percy's door.   
"Coming!" When he answers, he glances at her cheek, reddened by impact, and Vex grins.   
"How're you feeling, Percival?" She asks, bouncing her hip into the doorframe so he can't close her out. He, true to form, doesn't react.   
"Fine, dear, why?"  
"How's your  _cheek_ , darling?" She adds, urgently, and is surprised to see his eyes cloud over.  
"It's fine, Vex'ahlia." His tone is a touch sharp, and he amends his statement in a second with, "I'm alright, Vex. You?"

Her eyes prickle with tears. Not even this one thing, she can't have  _one thing_? 

"Vex?" Percy asks again, and Vex closes his own door on his face. She gets an inch of satisfaction out of hearing him say  _ouch_ , but the tears come right after when she realizes she has no extra pain to show for it.

She sprints back to her brother's room, wiping at tears, and falls right into Vax's open arms.   
"What happened, Vex?" He asks, soft and concerned, and Vex tells him the whole story right then and there, reaching desperately for the safety of her brother's arms midway through.   
"I... I thought... maybe..." She finishes, and Vax pulls back a little, eyes searching hers. "Stubby," he begins, and his voice is as shaky as hers, "I have something to tell you."  
He lets go of her first, and that makes her more nervous than anything. Putting his hands in his lap, Vax says, "I... when we were young, we had the normal soulmate package - bruises and blisters and, hell, I got cramps -" Vex snorts. "- But... when you had that big fit, after our twenty-first, I thought for sure you were going to die. I thought for sure your _soulmate_ was going to die, and if you were going to suffer this much in the process, I couldn't stand it."  
"...Vax?" She half-whispers it, hopeful he isn't saying what she thinks he's saying.  
"Stubby, I _couldn't_ stand by, not while you were in pain like that. It was a week of sleep for you - a week of hell for me, honestly, I was worried they'd lied, given me poison or something, that you wouldn't wake up - but when you finished, that was it." A tear slips down both their faces. "All your suffering," he adds, "the pain you'd gone through for so long -  _finished_."

Vex shakes, a little bit, at the resolve in his voice, but tries to understand. "I... I thought he was _dead_ , Vax." She says, after a minute, trying to get her brother to see her side too. Vax nods.   
"I did too," he croaks, "you have to understand, I thought he never could've survived all the pain you were feeling. I... I thought there was no chance."  
"I think I need some time," she says, but she hugs him tightly before she goes. "And Vax? Next time, please let me make my own choices." Vax startles at the words but gives her a squeeze anyway.   
"I... I truly am sorry, Vex." He says, and she smiles.   
"I know."

* * *

 

It takes her a little over a week before she feels comfortable approaching her brother again, tucking herself beside him on the floor where he's sharpening a dagger. It's one of the bigger fights they've had, and the air still feels tense, until Vex leans her head onto his shoulder, and they both relax.

Percy walks by them, on his way to his workshop, and Vax nudges her in the side.  
"Go." He says, softly. "I'll still be here when you get back." She stands and lingers beside her brother, hand in his, until he says, "Vex... I'm sorry, for taking up so much of your time. But that doesn't mean you don't still have more."  
"When did you become such a sap?" She teases, but she lets go of his hand, steels herself for the battle ahead, and follows Percy down, knocking on the workshop's door.

"Coming!"  
When he answers the door, Vex slides her hip into the doorframe and Percy smirks, inclining his head toward her maneuver. "It seems like we were already in this position not too long ago, Vex'ahlia." She straightens her shoulders and doesn't move. "How can I help you?" Percy asks, and Vex falters.  
"You were so young," she murmurs, and Percy quirks an eyebrow. "I was only twenty-one, Gods, Percival, you must've been so young." It's Percy's turn to falter, already turning the gears in his head to work out a way out of this, but she pushes on. "I can't... darling, I can't imagine it, how awful it must've been to actually feel it. It was so long, Percy - I thought you were dead!  _Vax_ thought you were dead!"   
Percy touches his palm to her cheek. It's cold, and new calluses are drawn into his skin over the ones she knows, but she's still familiar with the touch. "I'm alive," he says. "I'm alive, dear."

She reaches for his hand and holds it for a second, looking up at him tiredly.  
"I wanted to feel the bullet," she says, eyes meeting his, "I cried when I couldn't." There's a little pause, and then she adds the final ball to drop. "Vax numbed me. Ripley was so... long and arduous, we assumed - I figured, once I woke up - you were dead. But it was an  _herb_!" The word comes out with a little laugh, and she shakes her head, blinking. "An  _herb_ , darling, and  _you_ were  _okay_." She presses her hand to his hipbone, where she remembers the burn on her own as if it was yesterday, and he grits his teeth. "All this time," she says, wonder seeping into the words, "and you just lived with all this pain. Why didn't you _tell me_?"

It seems Percy has caught up, his eyes sharp on hers and his fingers light on her cheek. "It was no trouble," he says, and she kisses him.

"You were  _alright_ ," she repeats when they pull apart, forehead resting on his.   
He smiles and lifts her hand to his chest, resting it there for a second, and then he says, "You're right, I should've told you.  _It's yours_."  
"You  _absolute prick_ ," she says, tightening her grip in his shirt, and then she kisses him again. "You absolute, complete, and utter  _asshole_ -" He grins and Vex grins back. "- I love you." She says, and he doesn't even freeze.   
"I love you," he repeats, " _soulmate_."

 


End file.
